Coming to Life Project 

Together we are making personal and planetary change possible


Nov 24 2017


When you think of your self-care what’s there for you? Perhaps what comes to mind is making sure that you get enough sleep at night, or maybe it is eating a balanced and nutritious diet or perhaps adding more exercise into your week?

Whilst these areas are some of the fundamentals of self-care, nevertheless those of us who  grew up in families where we were not properly cared for can find even these basics challenging.
This is especially so the less supported we are nowadays.

In addition to these basics there are other areas of self-care, and one that is often overlooked amongst survivors of early life trauma is that of art and practice of making plans for our future so that we can have the best possible life.

Abraham Maslow, one of the founding fathers of modern psychology, envisioned a pyramid of needs with things like care of the body and having a roof over our heads and food to eat as forming the base of the pyramid, and once these were more or less in place, they then became the support for further development.
However, if you’re living with repercussions of a very dysfunctional upbringing it can be really hard to get the basics established, let alone begin to envisage and plan for your future, and then consistently action this.

If that is one of the challenges you are facing, then you are not alone and for many people plans for their future rarely even make it onto the table.

Building your Pyramid
If you take a few minutes right now and choose an area of your life, such as income, relationships, community, learning, health, spirituality, or any other that calls you.
Now ask yourself how do you want to experience your chosen area in the future? how do you want to feel?

For example if your area is that of community, the feeling you are caudally maybe what you are actually seeking is to feel closer to people, or perhaps your area is a greater spiritual life as the feeling that you yearn for is the sense of the underlying interconnectedness of all things or more of a sense of oneness with the divine?

Whatever area you choose, look for the feeling that you are wanting to experience more of as that is the key to finding what to focus on.

Part Two
Another important aspect of self-care is that of taking practical steps to ensure that the future you would like to experience begins to move closer.
Sometimes this can seem insurmountable, but bear in mind that these steps usually don’t need to be big ones to make a real difference in the long term

To begin with, for today what one small action can you take to begin to fulfil your future?.

The people that raised you may not have cared for you well enough, but making plans and taking action to make your future happen is a practical way to care for yourself and pull yourself out of the legacy of your upbringing.