#13 A 5-Step Process for Transforming Shame with Self-Compassion

Self-compassion can be a really transformative tool – especially when it comes to healing shame.

But its also true that when you are deeply rooted in shame, the very idea of being kind to yourself can feel undeserved and uncomfortable, even unnatural.

So what if I could give you a step-by-step process to help you move beyond these common blocks to self-compassion?

Below are 5 key steps for transforming shame with self-compassion.

1. Understand the nature of shame.

Shame is the brains way of learning to deal with the threat of disconnection.

2. Label shame.

Label shame for what it is - an emotion.

Giving it a name helps you to get some space between you and the emotion

3. Replace judgement with curiosity.

Try to hold your experience of shame with curiosity rather than judgement. Curiosity about your emotions can help you shift into a more caring and understanding perspective.

4. Acknowledge your inner critic.

It’s helpful to be aware that your inner critic often likes to amplify your shame.

Remind your inner critic that you are a work in progress, trying to navigate the best you can.

5. Practice what is helpful not harmful.

Try to speak to yourself like you would a friend.

Can you ask yourself what actions would be helpful in recovering from this experience, rather than actions that might perpetuate it?

If you are working on correcting an action can you offer yourself constructive correction rather than a shaming self attack?


Begun on December 12th 1997, The Project exists to assist individuals to heal from their past and grow into their fullest potential - and in this process to then be able to take an evolutionary step in the unfolding of a new, inclusive and integrated, worldwide consciousness.

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